![]() In this case, it's your sense of worth that is (unnecessarily) being called into question. Every human being hates and avoids uncertainty. If you already have a sense of anxiety over your desirability then nothing will ramp up that anxiety more than 'maybe' - his mixed messages are telling you that you MIGHT be worth his time, which is much harder to accept than yes or no. That's not in any way a criticism as we all do it to some extent (and beware anyone who says they dont!) but the pattern is more pronounced among people with a shaky sense of their own value. What might be happening here is that you dont feel that great about yourself and are looking outside for confirmation that you are desirable. I guess I read it that his physical attitude to me had heavy sexual overtones but he made no attempt to really get to know me as a person or bring us closer emotionally and that left me feeling that he saw me as a piece of meat - a sexual object not even worth knowing as a human being. I've been in a similar situation once before but I was so appalled by his behaviour that the crush turned into contempt and I have never spoken to him since. I would say it's not attractive to everyone and that there is likely to be a personal reason for this. Why is it so attractive when someone is aloof and hard to read? I just want to reason my way out of whatever kind of attraction this is because I'd like to be more in control of my emotions and keep myself open to a more healthy crush. I'm not interested in playing games and I've dropped enough hints that I know he knows that I like him. I'm not asking you how to get him to like or date me. He has dated one woman in the last 5 years after his heart was broken in his divorce. To save time, I ask you to believe me when I say that he's not a player. Every opportunity that comes up for him to open up or ask me out he let's pass by. We have great conversations, he tells me I look fantastic or that I have a beautiful smile.īUT. Mutual girl friends comment about how he can't take his eyes off of me, he touches me when he stands near me, hugs me too long, all the physical and even some verbal signs are there that he likes me in return. ![]() When I'm physically in the same space as him, the attraction is palpable. ![]() I'll try to keep it short.Ī guy I'm interested in and have known for over 5 years recently started sending me mixed signals. I'm looking for a bit of perspective here.
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